I’m not big on formalities, but why is it that virtually every waiter and waitress in virtually every restaurant one enters these days addresses customer diners as “guys?”

Offensive and insulting? Not necessarily, but I wonder why they can’t come up with a different appellation just for the sake of variety or, for that matter, to exhibit a modicum of upgraded sensitivity for those who may dislike the term, or perhaps are just tired of it.

Or maybe I should blame the training programs these people undergo. If the trainer thinks that all customers like to be called guys, then naturally the students will continue this irritating and boring new tradition foisted on men, women, boys and girls, with ages and races notwithstanding.

Further, it doesn’t seem to matter whether it’s a hot dog stand, a national restaurant franchise or a pricey establishment, you and your party are guys.

I don’t mind a bit if a clubhouse waitress says “What would you guys like?” after 18 holes with my partners, but I do squirm when my wife and I are called guys as we prepare to spend $150 on a nice bottle of Merlot and a couple of steaks.

A few weeks ago I almost said to a smiling, guy-repeating waiter, “Look, friend, I may look like a dock worker, you know, just like one of the guys, but my wife looks and is dressed very much like a lady.”

Here’s exactly what my wife and I heard at one of the more upscale chain restaurant franchises just recently: “Good evening, you guys, and welcome. Is there any particular place you guys would like to sit? I’ll give you guys the menus and your server will be here shortly. You guys enjoy your meal.”

I began to think that maybe this man’s mother, father, wife, sisters, brothers, children, friends and job boss must all be named Guy.

Just as we guys took a sip of our water, the waiter, an otherwise friendly, efficient chap, appeared at our table to ask, “I’m Paul, your server. Can I get you guys something to drink?”

My wife said we were called guys at least ten times between the time we entered the place and finished dinner. I accused her of a vast undercount and helped prove my point when, while I was paying the check, Paul said, “Thanks and you guys have a great evening.”

I wanted to fill out a comment card suggesting they change the name of the place to the You Guys Inn. At least the title would add promotional connection to the constant guying, just like at the old downtown Chicago restaurant where everyone was greeted with “Hello, Senator.” At least that made you feel kind of special.

One of these evenings I plan to look at the waitress’s name badge and before she has a chance to say a word, I will burst out with: “Ah, I see your name is Tina. Well, Tina, my name is Mike, this is my wife Kathy and these are our friends Mary Ann and Ed. Please remember that if you dare refer to us as guys, I will tell the large party at the next table that the shrimp bisque is a swimming pool for a family of ants.”

There is a simpler solution, of course, so listen up, restaurant owners and waiters wherever you are. Revise questions just to say, “Good evening, folks,” or “Welcome, ladies and gentlemen,” if you really want to restore some old world class.

Better yet, don’t use personal terms at all, unless you know the names of the guests. There is absolutely nothing wrong or irritating about just “Good evening” or “What can I get from the bar tonight?” My guess is that the softball team ravenous for burgers after a game would be as stunned as members of a seniors’ club to be addressed as something other than “you guys.”

Maybe we could all get together and demand a dollar off the bill for every time we are called guys. Some establishments would wind up owing us money and that surely would force a change overnight.

Mike McGinty is a Business Ledger reporter and commentator who can be reached at mmcginty@thebusinessledger.com